A beautiful and talented young violinist ended her life recently. The first question that comes to mind, is: “Why?”
Although someone answered the question with “depression,” the question remains, “Why did she decide to step out of life?”
Depression is something that I had never experienced until a few months ago when I tasted it myself. I awoke one morning filled with normal cheerfulness. However, only a few minutes into that beautiful day, I experienced a bad incident, which caused my whole life to make an about turn towards the most negative darkness covering that bright, sunshiny day.
Instantly I realised it was what the world calls “depression,” and although I did not like it, I did not care at all. Every inch of hope, joy and positive sensation was suddenly replaced by an intense feeling of loneliness, sadness, helplessness and the biggest one of all, a feeling of failure. Failure in what I had missed to accomplish, not only the failures of tasks but also the failure to experience joy and happiness in life and that the time to change it was running out. This debilitating feeling of failure filled me from top to bottom and then it became me – I became the failure.
Jesus changed everything almost 30 hours later. Although He died for me many years ago, He did not tell me that He died for failures and that I was one of them. He also did not tell me that if I kept on feeling so depressingly unthankful for being alive, He was going to turn His back on me. He did not tell me that I was so infuriatingly stubborn because I flatly refused to notice His love for me.
With a silent and tender touch, He showed me how precious I was to my wife and children and that He was so proud of my family and me. I saw myself through His eyes. At first, I could not focus clearly, because His eyes were filled with tears. Only when I wiped the tears from His eyes by loving Him back, I could see how deeply He really loves me. Jesus loves people like us too, people who feel they are out of step.
My innermost desire since that day has become to touch every disheartened person in the world asking them to take a look at themselves through the eyes of their family and friends by looking through the eyes of Jesus. It is not easy but I am sure that if that young violinist could see herself through those eyes she would still be alive today.
If that is where you are now, while reading this, in some dark hole of depression, would you please contact me. I know you don’t feel like it and honestly I do not want you to think that I have the answer, because I don’t. The least I could do, would be to hold your hand in prayer.
You are precious!